Summer salad and Rose coaches Jenny before a date

Salad

Yesterday I went on a date. On the way there, I called Mom from my magic Bluetooth car phone booth.

Me (39, ostensibly an adult): I don’t want to go!

Mom: Just have a good time. You’re overthinking it. Just be cool.

Me: There’s alcohol involved.

Mom: Drink a big glass of water. Not instead of the drink. With the drink. Just remember that he’s probably more uncomfortable than you are.

Me: Mom. That’s something you say to someone who’s afraid of a spider.

Mom: I would never say that about a spider.

We said good-bye. But then, as my mother has done an astonishing number of times in the last 15 years, she didn’t hang up her phone and immediately turned to my dad to give him the replay. It played in my car.

Mom: She’s going on a date. She just got there. With this guy, the geologist. (She imitates me:) “I don’t want to do this!”

Parents: (HELPLESS LAUGHTER)

Mom: At a tiki bar. She said, “Not my choice!” (Laughs. Then she imitates me AGAIN:) “I don’t want to go!”

Parents: (MORE HELPLESS LAUGHTER)

Mom (recovering): Do you want to watch Will and Grace?

Whatever, Mom and Dad. Because I GOT KITTENS. Two to foster for two weeks! And I’m picking up two more today, so I will have FOUR KITTENS.

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K2

To make this out-of-season salad, go to any grocery store because of globalization and buy:

  • Cherry tomatoes
  • Avocado
  • Persian cucumbers
  • Castelvetrano olives
  • Salt & olive oil
  • Maras Turkish Chile, available from your Turkish friend or from the Oakland Spice Shop

And then figure it out from the picture because KITTENS. OMG.

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Pocket kitty!

Attack!

Leap!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. suegranzella says:

    It is IMPOSSIBLE to make this stuff up. (Unless you’re making it up, in which case – I applaud you!) Your mom leaves the phone on and then mocks your dating life to your dad??!!! And KITTENS??!!! Holy crap, the one when they’re wet is TOO MUCH. Oh!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Catherine Peters says:

    Hi Jenny I’m one of the friends with whom your mom shared your blog link- I love following your comments about Rose and Dave as I just imagine them together 😘 Keep blogging, love Catherine xx

    Like

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