Paloma and Days 1-5: Oaxaca, Mexico

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NOTES TO SELF WHILE TRAVELING ALONE IN OAXACA, MEXICO

The good thing about not speaking the language: You can’t talk me into anything because I have no idea what you’re saying.

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La cuenta = the check
Hoy = today
Voy = I go
Ahora = now
Bonita = pretty
Efectivo = cash
Tengo novio = I have a boyfriend

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Travel Tips by Jenny
1. Learn the word for “where.”

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The bad: You will have 70 hours of vacation taken out of your paychecks. Your rent will most likely go up to [$$$] next month. You will most likely need to start paying off your student loan at [$$$] the month after that.

The good: You have full medical coverage. You have a job you love. You have an apartment you love. You have a car that works. Your family is still alive. You are still 39 for another three months.

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Stop eating the chicharrones.

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Minipoodles are the dog of choice here.

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Donde estamos = Where are we?
Mosca = mosquito

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Go through novel and cut all summary. Just cut all the boring parts and leave only the good parts.

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Recent thought: “I think that alcohol had a lot of beer in it.”

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Look up “tengo” and “puedo.”

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List of things past traveling companions have done on vacations with me:

1. Insisted on spending four days inside the air-conditioned cabana because it was “too hot” outside.
2. Threw his backpack on a hiking trail because he couldn’t find his rain pants.
3. Threw a sandwich because a stewardess handed him one that wasn’t vegetarian.
4. Threatened to take the next plane back to California and leave me without the hotel reservations.
5. Made a pun about victims of the Khmer Rouge.
6. Had a farting competition with his parents during a card game.
7. Nearly killed us on a motorcycle in Vietnam.
8. Tried to lie his way into an international writing conference with Jeffrey Eugenides.

List of things I’ve done on past vacations with traveling companions:

1. Insulted an entire country because an airport shopkeeper wouldn’t sell me a bottle of wine because my plane was boarding in ten minutes.
2. Threw a shit fit at 1 a.m. and took off in the car into Sonoma County.
3. Threw a shit fit at 1 a.m. and took off on foot into Prague.
4. Threw a shit fit in Ubud, Bali, and threatened to leave boyfriend.
5. Threw a shit fit in Battambang, Cambodia, and threatened to leave boyfriend.
6. Threw a dessert plate over the side of a cruise ship into the Baltic Sea.
7. Nearly killed us on a scooter in Vietnam.
8. Tried to lie my way into an international writing conference with Jeffrey Eugenides

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Pet peeves:
1. Team-building exercises

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To make a paloma you need:

1 part tequila
3 parts grapefruit juice
Splash bubbly

Or:

Round-trip tickets to Oaxaca, Mexico
A menu that says “paloma.”

One Comment Add yours

  1. suegranzella says:

    I very much enjoy it each time you make lists! I want to read the book you must eventually write, entitled All the Shit Fits. (Can’t stop giggling at the image of the dessert plate frisbeeing from a cruise ship into the sea…. 🙂 )

    Like

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