Potatoes with Greek yogurt and sauerkraut and WTF casual sex

Hey Jenny! HEY You asked and we listened. REMIND ME You told us authenticity is paramount. I DID NO SUCH THING You told us being true to your core nature is what lights you up inside. I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT You told us transparency in online dating is oh-so-essential. ALSO ESSENTIAL IS SIDE…

Salted Texas chocolate sheet cake and WTF online dating

I’ve decided to have a baby with a stranger. In 53 days, I turn 40. Which means I have 53 days until my ovaries turn to each other across the vast pink expanse of my uterus, wink at each other, and commence crushing my remaining eggs Kids in the Hall-style. (LOOK IT UP, MILLENNIALS. LOOK IT ALL UP.)…

Breakfast tacos and 18 cm. = 7 ins.

My Mom updated her website. This is the description of one of her artist books: Why Me? 2003 Why Me? is about acne from an adolescent girl’s perspective. Text by Jenny [last name]. 9″ x11″ handmade paper with embedded dried beans, inkjet text. Did my mother bake cookies? No. Did she drive me to choir rehearsal? Only under…

Kimchee rice and WTF online dating

Over the weekend I sat next to John Avalos at a café for THREE HOURS and didn’t recognize him until he stood up to leave. I voted for him for MAYOR. He is VERY ATTRACTIVE. And he has the single-most-important quality I’m looking for in a man: He’s 52 but he looks 41. So what…

Sunday night pasta sauce and WTF online dating

I’ve been single for nine days. I opened a bottle of rosé and paid for a three-month subscription to Match.com (I think). I also signed up for something called MeetMindful, a “conscious” dating site that has a total of 45 people on it, each of whom has an inspirational quote on his profile, such as “I am not…