Chicken rice soup and my 2-year-old has a potty mouth

Gargantubaby is 2 and a half. He’s in the 95th percentile for height and weight. At his well-baby checkup, Kaiser once again told us to stop giving him whole milk, which we will continue to ignore. He has a nickname for me, which I find extraordinary: It’s “Mama Llama” (from the Llama Llama books), and…

Obe Ata stew and life with an angry toddler

Gargantubaby is 28 months old, but I don’t keep track anymore. He’s 2 and a half and he will remain 2 and a half until he turns “almost 3.” He is a toddler, period. And good lord, is he ANGRY. His default is lying on the floor and crying, and I’m here to tell him,…

Beef stew and careening into the holidays

These are the last days of my maternity leave. The weather has turned cold, so in the predawn we turn on the heat, which makes a satisfying boom and then slowly seeps up through the floor vents and smells like a different toxin in each room. The baby has his first cold, coughing as if he’s…

Mom’s white soup and the calm before the storm

Ever since I set a start date for maternity leave (two more weeks!), I’ve had a rush of energy. This is in the face of the worst acid reflux so far and a new symptom — cramping! It even keeps me up at night! — as well as my husband introducing me to someone else…

Sopa Azteca and WTF online dating

So I got fucking snookered into another three months on Match.com because I forgot it automatically resubscribes you and charges your credit card. So I signed in … with the wrong email address and discovered my OLD MATCH.COM ACCOUNT FROM THREE YEARS AGO WHAT. And I looked in shock at the exact same bikini picture…