Gargantubaby is 2 and a half. He’s in the 95th percentile for height and weight. At his well-baby checkup, Kaiser once again told us to stop giving him whole milk, which we will continue to ignore. He has a nickname for me, which I find extraordinary: It’s “Mama Llama” (from the Llama Llama books), and…
A Note to Jenny True WordPress Followers
Readers: Thank you! Your comments and messages and simple readership have kept me going for almost four years, through crazy dating, impregnation, marriage, birth, and parenting. I appreciate you. As you know, it takes a village (see above for the village that kept Gargantubaby from dropping beans all over himself last night). At the end…
The Jenny True List of Best Holiday Gifts for Men
My 10-year-old stepdaughter on why my spirit animal is a donkey: “Because you can be loving and kind sometimes. But sometimes you can be a kick in the face.” I’m sick of men’s holiday gift lists that include: BBQ’ing tools Cologne Whiskey and other hard alcohol-related items Beard shit Flannel shirts Hot sauce Things made…
Obe Ata stew and life with an angry toddler
Gargantubaby is 28 months old, but I don’t keep track anymore. He’s 2 and a half and he will remain 2 and a half until he turns “almost 3.” He is a toddler, period. And good lord, is he ANGRY. His default is lying on the floor and crying, and I’m here to tell him,…
Homemade pizza and I fucking love these people
Summer has cooled into fall around here, and it’s a pretty subtle change in Northern California. It’s too cool for flip-flops but still warm enough for no jackets in the car. The other morning the fog was so thick I watched condensation drip into the yard from a corner of the laundry room, a shack…
Lasagna and mom rage
I’ve been reading a lot about mom rage lately (70 MILLION RESULTS ON GOOGLE GO FIGURE). I wasn’t really connecting, because I had rage before I had kids, and now I’m medicated, so I don’t have rage but instead a tingly sense all over sometimes where I’m like, This is what anger feels like. Hmm. But…
Bolognese sauce and everything all at once
Gargantubaby is 27 months old. He wears 4T shirts and pants. Most shoes don’t fit him because his feet are like little pound cakes. He’s almost too big for me to lie on my back, pick him up by the hips, and hold him upside down, crying, “Shake out your change! Shake out your change!” We’ve…
Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and traveling with children is a fucking nightmare
This summer, my family achieved that pinnacle of U.S. class privilege: a family vacation in Hawaii! That shit is expensive. I nearly canceled everything. But at the last minute, Southwest started flying to Hawaii, so I made the decision that would ruin everything: To save money, I booked four flights from Oakland, California (where we…
German chocolate cake and Things I’ve Learned: Baby Turns 2 Edition
It happened. My newborn became an infant became a toddler became a kid. LIKE TIME THROUGH AN HOURGLASS THESE ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING DAYS OF OUR EVER-SHORTENING LIVES. My son has a game. He says, “Mama.” I say, “Yes?” He says, “BEAR!” I say, “WHERE OH MY GOD WHERE’S THE BEAR WHERE’S THE BEAR.” He watches…
Breadcrumb pasta and fuck you, United
Oh, summer. I’ve been to Evanston and back to visit Rose and Dave. SJ and I took the kids camping over Fourth of July. We had Gargantubaby’s second birthday party over the weekend YES HE’S TWO TOMORROW MORE ON THAT LATER. Gargantubaby, holding a plastic dinosaur: “Hi, di-o-saurrr. I name [Gargantubaby’s name]. I eat you!”…
Za’atar chicken with garlicky yogurt and life on Lexapro
Writing an angry blog when you take out the angry part isn’t easy. Also, writing a blog when you take out the motivated-by-anxiety-about-how-little-you’ve-accomplished-by-age-42 part is not easy. I’M A MIDDLE-AGED COPY EDITOR WITH NO CAREER OBJECTIVES ACCEPTANCE IS KEY. For the past two months, Lexapro has helped with EVERYTHING. OH MY FUCKING GOD. These are…
