Paloma and Days 1-5: Oaxaca, Mexico

NOTES TO SELF WHILE TRAVELING ALONE IN OAXACA, MEXICO

The good thing about not speaking the language: You can't talk me into anything because I have no idea what you're saying.

La cuenta = the check

Hoy = today

Voy = I go

Ahora = now

Bonita = pretty

Efectivo = cash

Tengo novio = I have a boyfriend

Travel Tips by Jenny

1. Learn the word for "where."

The bad: You will have 70 hours of vacation taken out of your paychecks. Your rent will most likely go up to [$$$] next month. You will most likely need to start paying off your student loan at [$$$] the month after that.

The good: You have full medical coverage. You have a job you love. You have an apartment you love. You have a car that works. Your family is still alive. You are still 39 for another three months.

Stop eating the chicharrones.

Minipoodles are the dog of choice here.

Donde estamos = Where are we?

Mosca = mosquito

Go through novel and cut all summary. Just cut all the boring parts and leave only the good parts.

Recent thought: "I think that alcohol had a lot of beer in it."

Look up "tengo" and "puedo."

List of things past traveling companions have done on vacations with me:

1. Insisted on spending four days inside the air-conditioned cabana because it was "too hot" outside.

2. Threw his backpack on a hiking trail because he couldn't find his rain pants.

3. Threw a sandwich because a stewardess handed him one that wasn't vegetarian.

4. Threatened to take the next plane back to California and leave me without the hotel reservations.

5. Made a pun about victims of the Khmer Rouge.

6. Had a farting competition with his parents during a card game.

7. Nearly killed us on a motorcycle in Vietnam.

8. Tried to lie his way into an international writing conference with Jeffrey Eugenides.

List of things I've done on past vacations with traveling companions:

1. Insulted an entire country because an airport shopkeeper wouldn't sell me a bottle of wine because my plane was boarding in ten minutes.

2. Threw a shit fit at 1 a.m. and took off in the car into Sonoma County.

3. Threw a shit fit at 1 a.m. and took off on foot into Prague.

4. Threw a shit fit in Ubud, Bali, and threatened to leave boyfriend.

5. Threw a shit fit in Battambang, Cambodia, and threatened to leave boyfriend.

6. Threw a dessert plate over the side of a cruise ship into the Baltic Sea.

7. Nearly killed us on a scooter in Vietnam.

8. Tried to lie my way into an international writing conference with Jeffrey Eugenides

Pet peeves:

1. Team-building exercises

To make a paloma you need:

1 part tequila

3 parts grapefruit juice

Splash bubbly

Or:

Round-trip tickets to Oaxaca, Mexico

A menu that says "paloma."