We met Kathy in the parking lot and wandered into the nursery, where, lo and behold, for the first time ever, I saw a crowd! It was happening! There was the live music, just on a break: A group of musicians wearing face paint and gold lamé chatted on the stage beneath a pavilion. A little girl with long brown hair held an orange chicken to her chest. I noticed that everyone seemed to be talking in groups and appeared to know each other. I also noticed that some of these groups turned to look at us and didn’t smile, but this happens often enough in the NIMBY Bay Area that it didn’t tip me off. Remember: BAY NATIVES TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE OYSTERS.
Read MoreThis summer, my family achieved that pinnacle of U.S. class privilege: a family vacation in Hawaii!
Read MoreBeing 34 weeks pregnant is like having a 30-pound goiter that kicks you. Also, I don't know if you know this, but being very pregnant, being newly married, working two jobs six days a week, and living in a new place is, at times, somewhat stressful.
Read MoreTwo weeks ago I moved in with SJ. Hired three guys to load all my stuff, including my coffee table (SJ does not believe in coffee tables -- he calls them "shinbangers" -- so when we want to watch 30 Rock instead of talking to each other, we eat dinner on a piano bench, like highly educated vagrants …
Read MoreSo. OKCupid summarizes other people's qualities (which they glean from how you answer questions) compared to your qualities at the bottom of each profile. FOR EXAMPLE: One recent afternoon, sitting in bed in torn pajamas and scratching the eczema on my legs, I found what I felt was a bad combination: Someone was more "sex-driven" AND more "conservative."
Read MoreFirst, if your name is Draper, don't put it in your profile name. If you want to make a reference to Don Draper from Mad Men, also don't put it in your profile name. Because then the word "raper" is in your profile name. I don't make the rules.
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