My free time these days is split between trolling dating sites for people I know, peeing on a stick to see whether I'm ovulating, and recording conversations with Strong Jawline, who remains the top candidate to impregnate me (NOVEMBER 2016: SEX WITH A PURPOSE).
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So I got fucking snookered into another three months on Match.com because I forgot it automatically resubscribes you and charges your credit card. So I signed in ... with the wrong email address and discovered my OLD MATCH.COM ACCOUNT FROM THREE YEARS AGO WHAT.
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I had a weird realization today: In my 25-year-long wake of exes--which has yet to include a celebrity but THERE'S STILL TIME EVERYONE LOVES A 39-YEAR-OLD GROUPIE--the detritus includes two lawyers, two cops, and two people who went to jail for punching people (not me).
WHAT DOES IT MEAN.
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A frequent thought these days is, why did my standards have to go up NOW? I had limited standards from 1991-2013, which meant I dated a LOT. A LOT, A LOT, A LOT.
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A frequent thought these days is, why did my standards have to go up NOW? I had limited standards from 1991-2013, which meant I dated a LOT. A LOT, A LOT, A LOT.
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"This will probably nullify any chance I have with any female on here but whatever. I've been on here a month and a half and I'm still here which tells you something (WHAT DOES IT TELL ME MY LOVE).
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Over the weekend I sat next to John Avalos at a café for THREE HOURS and didn't recognize him until he stood up to leave. I voted for him for MAYOR. He is VERY ATTRACTIVE.
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First, if your name is Draper, don't put it in your profile name. If you want to make a reference to Don Draper from Mad Men, also don't put it in your profile name. Because then the word "raper" is in your profile name. I don't make the rules.
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I've been single for nine days. I opened a bottle of rosé and paid for a three-month subscription to Match.com (I think).
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