Try to get pregnant at 40, and everyone has a story. Recently a friend of a friend shouted the following at me across a table in a bar in Denver, about a friend of hers giving birth:
"SHE TORE TO HER ASSHOLE. SHE TORE INSIDE AND OUT."
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My free time these days is split between trolling dating sites for people I know, peeing on a stick to see whether I'm ovulating, and recording conversations with Strong Jawline, who remains the top candidate to impregnate me (NOVEMBER 2016: SEX WITH A PURPOSE).
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I spotted during my luteal phase. Let me explain.
I've been charting my cycle because somebody gave me a book about fertility and I'm curious as to whether at my advanced maternal age I CAN get pregnant.
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Today I sat down with a pen (WHAT'S THAT) and a piece of paper (NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY) and typed into Google:
"What to do when you're trying to get pregnant"
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